WeightLossthoughts.com - A Weight Loss Blog

Last week, I talked about the factors that caused my weight gain. In that post, I mentioned that I really, truly loved food. Always have, always will. So, why try to lose weight? Why not live life fat and happy?

There are two key reasons.

1. Comfort. I’m currently at a weight that is not comfortable to me. I don’t fit into chairs. My knees hurt when I stand up. My hips hurt after an ordinary day of activity. My feet and ankles are swollen. I can’t walk more than a block or so without developing agoninzing back pain. I want to lose weight so I can be comfortable in my own body again.

2. Health. In an earlier post, I mentioned my numerous health problems including diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure. My weight also puts me at risks for other problems like breast cancer and heart disease. I don’t want to be one of those unfortunate statistics that dies in her forties from a heart attack.

So, off I go along this weight-loss path that I need to walk but don’t want to walk.

How am I doing so far, you ask? The answer is so-so. I haven’t gained any weight since I started posting, but I haven’t lost any either. Every time I swear today will be the day I change my eating habits, the phone rings and it’s a friend asking me out to a fabulous restaurant or wanting to talk about her latest romantic woes over an ice cream cone. And so far, I’ve been the girl who can’t say no.

In my next post, I’ll take a look at the stages of change and where I am on that continuum.

Until then, be healthy!

I’ve always had a bad relationship with food. I was a chunky kid until I stopped eating completely the year I turned twelve and dropped weight at a speed that alarmed my parents and the the family doctor. The weight stayed off through my high school and college years, and then started to creep back on. Again I went on a starvation diet and lost nearly forty pounds, and again it stayed off for a few years, then I gained it back. The last several years of my life have been cycles of starvation and binge eating, ending up where I am now at nearly three hundred pounds.

But how did I get this way? There are several factors.

Medication. I have bipolar disorder and take Zyprexa as a mood stabilizer. Unfortunately, the most common side effect of Zyprexa is weight gain. Going off the medication isn’t an option (I’ve tried, it wasn’t pretty), so I’ll just have to work with that strike against me.

Lack of Knowledge. When I wanted to diet in the past, I never worried about establishing and maintaining a healthy diet. I just dropped my calorie intake to about 800 calories per day (way too little to sustain basic health). If I got all 800 of those calories from, say, a piece of cake or a Dairy Queen blizzard, so be it. Part of my challenge this time around will be learning how to develop and stick to a healthy nutritional program that I can follow through the rest of my life.

Eating for Comfort. Boy, this is a big one. When I’m upset or stressed out, the first thing I want to do is stuff my face. Even if I’ve just eaten. Even if I’m not really hungry. Over the days and weeks ahead, I’ll have to come up with some other ways to ease stress and pamper myself.

Eating from Habit. It’s morning. Time to eat. It’s lunch. Time to eat. I’m home from work. You guessed it. Time to eat. I’ve lost touch with whether or not I’m hungry or what my nutritional needs actually are. I’ve probably messed up my body’s internal monitors by years of starving and bingeing, but for my weight loss to be successful, I know I’ll have to find some way to connect with whether or not I’m really hungry or just eating because “it’s time to eat.”

Eating Because I Love Food. There is nothing I like more than going out for a fine dinner. I savor the dinner rolls, the appetizer, the main course, the dessert. At these times, eating less or choosing low calorie options don’t feel like good choices for me. I still want to be able to enjoy my large dinners out sometimes. But the key word is sometimes, not every week and certainly not every day.

So, these are some of the challenges I will have to overcome as I embark on my new lifestyle of healthier eating.

More later!

Okay, folks, this is my first picture. I’ll post another one at the end of August, and we’ll see if there’s a difference. (Fingers crossed.)

In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about the factors that led to my weight gain. I’ll blog more about that later this week….

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I wish I could show you a picture of me. In fact, I’d planned to do so, but my camera and my computer are being uncooperative. So, I’ll post the picture when I get everything up and running.

For now, let me tell you about me. My name is Debra Stang. I’m a medical social worker and a novelist and freelance writer. I’m 5′6″ and weigh 294 pounds. Yep, you read that right. Not 194. Not even 249. 294.

I wouldn’t mind my weight if we were only talking about looks. In fact, there are many fat women I find extremely attractive. But the truth is, being fat is harming my health and stopping me from doing the things I want to do with my life.

My blood pressure is high. My cholesterol is high. I’m diabetic. My feet are swelling. I can’t even gather up a load of laundry or walk half a block without huffing and puffing like a steam engine. I don’t fit into some chairs or airline seats. My doctor has told me that at my current weight, I could easily suffer a heart attack or stroke and die…or worse yet, spend the rest of my life incapacitated. I believe her.

But enough of “poor me,” because I’ve decided to do something about it. Over the next two years, my goal is to lose half my body weight to get down to a weight of around 145. I can’t afford chefs to cook my meals for me. I can’t afford weight loss surgery. So I’m going to have to do it the old fashioned way–that means some big lifestyle changes.

Along the way, I plan on reading books about dieting and talking to doctors and nutritionists–I’ll share their wisdom here. I’ll talk about what works and what doesn’t and each month–camera willing–I’ll post a new picture of myself and my current weight.

I suspect many of you reading this are in the same boat as I am. So let’s start this long journey together, you and I, fighting an uphill battle to health and fitness.