Last night was not a good night for my diet. A friend that I hadn’t seen in a while called and invited me out to dinner. I promised myself that I’d watch my calorie intake, but in the end I ate like a horse.
You know what the turning point was? The glass of white wine I had before dinner.
I’ve noticed that when I drink even a small amount, I tend to make bad choices about what I eat afterwards. I don’t think about how hard I had to work to get the weight off. I don’t think about how much exercise it will take to work off all those extra calories. I don’t even think about my long term goals, like being able to fit in airplane seats and walk comfortably on my next trip. I just think about how good everything on the menu sounds and how I can let myself slip “just this once.”
So I’ve decided that, except for very special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and vacations, alcohol is off my menu. Oh, I no I won’t be completely immune to temptation without it. But I think keeping my wits about me will make the impulse to binge much easier to resist.
Somewhere along the way, I did something to strain my back. I’ve been experiencing low level back pain for the past couple of weeks, but starting this weekend the pain has become intense spasms. My doctor gave me muscle relaxers and advised me to take it easy for a couple of weeks–a very appropriate response.
A colleague of mine who went to her doctor for pain in her hip got a less appropriate response. The doctor simply advised her to lose weight. He didn’t discuss different options for increasing her comfort in the meantime. It was clear he didn’t care about her pain. All he cared about was her weight.
And that’s just plain wrong. Yes, I know certain health problems are exacerbated by being heavy. And I certainly don’t mind a doctor offering his or her best advice. What I object to is a doctor looking at only one part of the totality, one number of the whole equation. Yes, my friend is heavy, but she also has an old hip injury and significant joint disease which contribute to her pain. The doctor didn’t even mention–much less address–those factors.
Fat-phobia is one of the last socially acceptable prejudices. For this reason, many people who are fat experience considerable discrimination, often from the very people we trust to manage our health. If you’re heavy, by all means inform yourself about the health risks you may face, but don’t let a doctor refuse to treat your conditions or symptoms simply because of your weight. Fat or thin, you still have the right to high-quality, respectful health care.
Today’s weight: 274 pounds, -7 pounds from last week
Yea! I’m not sure all of it is “real” weight loss, a good portion of it may be water weight, but it feels good to be down instead of up. You can bet I did a little Happy Dance when I got off the scales this morning.
In other news, I did something bad to my back last week (not sure what, but it hurts like you-know-what) so I haven’t been exercising much, but I have been watching my calorie intake.
I’ve also been managing my stress better. In fact, I’m taking today off work to pop muscle relaxers and nurse a cold I caught this weekend. It feels good to rest in bed surrounded by cats. I’m catching up on my reading and even treating myself to a little daytime TV. I’ve also had the most glorious nap.
Tomorrow I’l be back on the job, and of course there’ll be plenty of work piled up waiting for me, but it was nice to take a day just to take care of myself. I highly recommend it!
I don’t know what was wrong with me yesterday, but for some reason I was hungry all day. Oh, I was good. I stuck to my diet. But I was utterably miserable doing it. Why?
Well, when I look back at yesterday, the first word that comes to my mind is: STRESS. It was a busy day with lots of clients needing lots of different things, way too much to do and way too little time to do it in.
And for better or for worse, food is how I’ve learned to comfort myself when I get stressed out. I literally eat my feelings instead of finding a more self-nurturing and productive way to deal with them. When I don’t have the food to fall back on, I’m like a child facing the big, bad world without her security blanket. But I’m not a child, and I know that I can find other ways to cope with stress.
Here are a few ideas I’ve come up with.
- Treat myself to a long, hot bath with lots of bubbles
- Read a good book
- Drink a cup of herbal tea
- Take five minutes and just focus on deep, even breathing
- Take a drive while listening to my favorite music
- Burn a candle
- Vent to a friend or co-worker
Stressful days happen to everyone. They pass, as all days do. Today I resolve to be patient and gentle with myself when it comes to dealing with stress. I will not lose my mind and I will not blow my diet.
As I continue on my weight loss odyssey, I’m beginning to realize just how big a role food plays in socialization. Co-workers have lunch to de-stress and talk about their days. Friends meet each other for dinner or ice cream. Family members want you to come over for a home-cooked meal.
Although they are basically very supportive, I know the people in my life don’t want to hear about my diet constantly, especially when that diet curtails the activities I can take part in. I haven’t found any perfect solutions, but there are a few things that I try when someone wants to “do” lunch or dinner.
- Order a drink to sip while your friend eats. Iced tea and Diet Coke are big favorites of mine. If I’m feeling especially health conscious, I’ll just have water. This works, but it’s an imperfect solution because many people will feel self-conscious eating while you abstain.
- Order something healthy. Soups or salads are usually good choices. I’ve also been known to get a hamburger, take it off the bun, and just eat the meat patty. Of course, the french fries are strictly taboo.
- When all else fails, ‘fess up. Tell your friend that you’re trying to lose some weight and you just don’t trust yourself in an environment where there’s a lot of food. Then suggest an alternative. Perhaps you could go shopping, walk your dogs, see a movie, or even work out together.
Whatever you do, don’t let your contact with your support system slide. Find a way to get together for quality time that doesn’t involve stuffing your face.
Today’s weight: 281 pounds
That’s up 3 from last week, but then I know I’ve been sneaking extra calories here and there. Time to get serious about dieting again.
One of my problems is that if I “blow it” by eating something with a lot of calories (outside of my designated cheat day, that is), I tend to think, “Ah, well, the whole day’s shot, I might as well eat what I want now.” Wrong. One slip up shouldn’t be permission for an entire day of decadence.
Fellow and sister dieters, take note. Everyone slips up from time to time and consumes a few too many calories. When you do that, take a few minutes to figure out what was going on. Were you stressed? Tired? Just unable to resist that bag of potato chips? Whatever you were feeling, file it away for future reference and resume your pattern of healthy eating immediately. Be smarter than I was. Now I have to lose those darned three pounds all over again!
I’ve finally found a relatively low-calorie dessert that I enjoy. Quaker has started manufacturing crisp multigrain cookies in several flavors including chocolatey mint, chocolatey drizzle, peanut butter, and cinnamon streusel. They come in little 90-calorie packs so you don’t unintentionally overeat. And the good news is, they actually taste pretty darned delicious.
I’m especially partial to the chocolate mint variety which remind me of the Thin Mints cookies that Girl Scouts sell.
The packages are small, and it’s a little too easy to scarf all the cookies down in a single handful, but if you make yourself eat them slowly, one at a time, you’ll find they’re actually filling.
And hey, what could be better than a dessert you don’t have to feel guilty for eating?
There’s a restaurant across the street from where I work that specializes in home cooking. Every day, they offer a different dessert. Most days I hold firm but on Tuesdays, my resolve wavers. See, that’s the day they have a delicious chocolate/coconut pie with a layer of cream cheese between the crust and the pie filling. Needless to say, it has no calories. 
I’m absolutely addicted to the stuff, even though it definitely does not fall under the heading of approved diet foods. So, here’s what I do. Instead of denying myself until I go crazy and eat six or seven pies all at once, I set aside Tuesday as a “cheat” day. On cheat days, I eat small portions of anything I want, including that heavenly pie. Then on Wednesday, it’s back to the diet.
Ideally, I should avoid the pie altogether, but since that’s not happening I figure this is as good a compromise as any. And since I’m continuing to lose weight, it doesn’t look like the cheat day concept is hurting my diet too much.
Hi Everyone!
Sorry for dropping out of the picture for so long. I’ve been struggling with one of the worst bouts of depression I’ve had in a long, long time. When most people get depressed, they lose their appetite and lose weight. Me, I want to eat everything in sight. The good news is that I haven’t gained anything. The bad news is that I haven’t lost anything either.
Anyway, after lots of experimenting with various combinations of medications (with the help of my shrink, of course) my mood has perked up a little, so I’m back on the weight loss wagon.
This time I’m eating five small meals a day. Cereal for breakfast, a snack of fresh fruit, a turkey sandwich for lunch, a small bag of pretzels or sunflower seeds in the afternoon, and a low calorie frozen dinner. To appease my sweet tooth, I’ve been buying Nabisco’s 100-calorie packs. Oreos are my favorite.
I’ve also joined Curves and am going three times a week. The other days, I spend ten minutes walking on my treadmill. I’ve lost two pounds in the past week, so I guess I’m on track again. Wish me luck and I’ll keep posting to let you know how I’m doing.
