WeightLossthoughts.com - A Weight Loss Blog

I’ve always had a bad relationship with food. I was a chunky kid until I stopped eating completely the year I turned twelve and dropped weight at a speed that alarmed my parents and the the family doctor. The weight stayed off through my high school and college years, and then started to creep back on. Again I went on a starvation diet and lost nearly forty pounds, and again it stayed off for a few years, then I gained it back. The last several years of my life have been cycles of starvation and binge eating, ending up where I am now at nearly three hundred pounds.

But how did I get this way? There are several factors.

Medication. I have bipolar disorder and take Zyprexa as a mood stabilizer. Unfortunately, the most common side effect of Zyprexa is weight gain. Going off the medication isn’t an option (I’ve tried, it wasn’t pretty), so I’ll just have to work with that strike against me.

Lack of Knowledge. When I wanted to diet in the past, I never worried about establishing and maintaining a healthy diet. I just dropped my calorie intake to about 800 calories per day (way too little to sustain basic health). If I got all 800 of those calories from, say, a piece of cake or a Dairy Queen blizzard, so be it. Part of my challenge this time around will be learning how to develop and stick to a healthy nutritional program that I can follow through the rest of my life.

Eating for Comfort. Boy, this is a big one. When I’m upset or stressed out, the first thing I want to do is stuff my face. Even if I’ve just eaten. Even if I’m not really hungry. Over the days and weeks ahead, I’ll have to come up with some other ways to ease stress and pamper myself.

Eating from Habit. It’s morning. Time to eat. It’s lunch. Time to eat. I’m home from work. You guessed it. Time to eat. I’ve lost touch with whether or not I’m hungry or what my nutritional needs actually are. I’ve probably messed up my body’s internal monitors by years of starving and bingeing, but for my weight loss to be successful, I know I’ll have to find some way to connect with whether or not I’m really hungry or just eating because “it’s time to eat.”

Eating Because I Love Food. There is nothing I like more than going out for a fine dinner. I savor the dinner rolls, the appetizer, the main course, the dessert. At these times, eating less or choosing low calorie options don’t feel like good choices for me. I still want to be able to enjoy my large dinners out sometimes. But the key word is sometimes, not every week and certainly not every day.

So, these are some of the challenges I will have to overcome as I embark on my new lifestyle of healthier eating.

More later!